Martin Luthur King quote on Silence


As recounted in The Simple Plan, Saoirse's desire to have a cup of tea with her mom was forcefully brought to an end by Ethan. Saoirse became terrified for Dolores' safety. Ignoring her own fear, having been on the receiving end of Ethan's tirade and threats, she sought help and information from anyone and everyone she thought might offer even an iota of help for her mother. The events that transpired during her visit to Dolores on December 3 were enough proof for Saoirse that her mom was in a desperate situation. She knew. To convince those agencies that had the power to aid Dolores, she started to dig, seeking others to assist her. She never stopped pleading with her brothers and sisters to advocate for their mother, to help change things before it was too late. Their response is hard to understand. To be generous, it was underwhelming. The first to stand up for their mother were strangers and relatives.

The extensive archive of documents, communications and other records has obtained confirm the validity of her fears for Dolores. The only contradictions that arise come from Ethan, Ronan, and Sophie. It is easy to understand Ethan's opposing view. It is disheartening to view the stance the other two eventually choose. From initially confirming Ethan's abuse of their mother, by the time Dolores was near death, it is evident they were acting as Ethan's agents. That grim transformation becomes clear as Dolores' story unfolds on this website.

The “Silence of Friends” section of this website began here. It focuses mainly on the three week period in 2009 from December 3 until Christmas. On this page, we look at what Dolores' children did to help her during this period.


Saoirse and it is believed to be her great grandmother seated behind. Private collection, used by permission. At this time, all three of Dolores' daughters were resident in Ireland. Excluding Ethan, three of her sons were in Ireland, and a fourth within a short 45 minute flight of Dublin. On December 5, the Saturday after her visit with Dolores, Saoirse left Rosslare. She went to Dublin before continuing home to Connemara. As shown by texts published in A Simple Plan Part 2, she asked Sophie, Sean and Nathaniel to meet her in Dublin to arrange a meeting with Ethan and Dolores. She met briefly with Sean, in transit from London. Neither Sophie nor Nathaniel met with them. No meeting with Ethan and Dolores occurred (they were nearby in Bray, Dolores' phone was “not working”; Ethan wasn't answering his).
To Sophie: Can any of u meet in dublin any time 2day, sat.? Saoirse
To Sean: Ok let me c bout Sophie and Nathaniel would it b easier if we met u airport?
To Nathaniel: Sean arr dub airport from london 2 meeting him there if u can great if not no worries will update

As an initial aid in defending Dolores, Saoirse requested her siblings, starting on December 4, to each keep a log of their attempts to contact Dolores:
To Nathaniel: ... u should have gist fr prev texts please start keeping log time and date of contact and lack of w mom pls try her next few days while she w Ethan w update after meet Sean
To Sophie: Not a prob but alert all 2 keep log of days time we are able 2 talk 2 mom bottom line we need contact visits alone w mom all of us w update
To Saoirse's husband: Hon am on way 2 dub Sophie in dub unable 2 make it Nathaniel cant afford diesel w meet Sean and update whats happening or what we need 2 do am sending round alert that log w times and dates we cant reach mom b kpt luv ya miss ya both hugs me

[Editor's note: It is unknown if logs were kept by Saoirse's siblings noting the attempts at contacting Dolores. If any are in existence, we are eager to map the information. They can be sent to us via Submissions]


After meeting Sean in Dublin on Saturday, Saoirse made the journey home.

Monday, December 7: Saoirse contacted Age Action Ireland, seeking information and any help they could offer. She also tried contacting Dolores' priest again. As detailed in The Silence of the Priest he did not respond and was not heard from again. (He did visit Dolores in Wexford General during her final hospitalisation). The letters to the Gardai Stations and Dolores' doctor were written, to be sent via registered post.
A text is sent from Dolores phone to Saoirse: “Delete my number from your phone and the best of luck with your life. Stop”

Tuesday December 8: Age Action Ireland responds to Saoirse and offers to find the name of the Elder Abuse Caseworker for Dolores' area. Saoirse emails the Elder Abuse Caseworker, Geoffrey Blair.
Unable to reach her mom by phone, Saoirse again reaches out to her siblings asking if they have been able to contact Dolores:

Sean tries Dolores' phones several times. Her landline rings out, the mobile is not answered. He also texts her messages that are never responded to. He finally reaches his mom, speaks to her briefly, and her phone then goes dead. Calling back, her phone is reported to be inaccessible by her provider (turned off). During this time he receives a hangup call on his land line, from an unknown number.
[Editor's note: This is one of Ethan's common techniques to establish a person's location. He especially employed it if he thought someone might be seeking to visit Dolores. We will see him use this technique time and time again.]
Emily checks in; she had spoken to Dolores Sunday, November 29.
Nathaniel reports he had reached her the previous day.
Alex emails: “I can't seem to get an answer from Dollars phone at all - being trying for a month.”
Saoirse finally gets through to her mom on Dolores' mobile. Dolores said “Hello.” Saoirse said “Hello.” The phone was either handed over or grabbed by someone and the phone went dead. Saoirse called back and Dolores' phone was inaccessible.

Wednesday December 9: Saoirse posts the registered letters; all are signed for on December 10.
Sophie tries ringing her mother several times. The land line rings out; Dolores' mobile is turned off. She tries to ring Ethan four times to make sure Dolores was OK; Ethan hung up twice, and the other two attempts rang out.

Saoirse and her older brothers. From a private collection, used by permission. Saturday, December 12:Saoirse continues to call the HSE Elder Abuse caseworker; the number is constantly engaged.
Saoirse sends an email to Alex, Nathaniel, Sean and Kyle asking them to contact the Gardai and Dolores' doctor with their concerns about Dolores' wellbeing: “I'm asking each of you, if you're all up to it, to please write to the following, outlining your own concerns. it would help me in my fight to get to see mom. But don't feel obligated.” She includes contact info.
[Editor's note: We assume Saoirse's request was not acted upon by any of her brothers. We can discover no confirmation, evidence, indication or reference that it was. As always we are eager to be corrected. Submissions]
Alex responds: “'re correct - no one has filled me in! I'm not sure how I'm going to describe to anyone how I went the whole way to Ireland and didn't see my mother! This is awful...”
This upcoming Christmas trip to Ireland is by no means the first time Dolores is prevented from seeing her son Alex.

Monday, December 14:
When Saoirse's call to Elder Abuse in Wexford at 6:45am are met with a constant busy signal, she emails Geoffrey Blair once again. He responds a few hours later. He had moved his office, so the number provided to Saoirse was no longer valid, and he had responded to her original email, but she had never received it.
She also contacts Age Action Ireland again.

Tuesday, December 15: Saoirse updates Alex, Nathaniel and Sean:

I spoke with the Elder Abuse Person with HSE this morning.

If any of you can email him or call him to discuss your individual experiences that would add to mine. Our first step should be to try and chat with mom and just let her know that we're all here for her and are taking steps etc. If Ethan continues to prevent us from meeting with her via phone etc. we should all keep account of that. Because it's likely going to come to the point where we need to meet with Ethan and mom and a HSE person. The public nurse down in Rosslare is being alerted by Geoffrey. I've also asked him to alert the person in Bray. I've also updated him re: Ethan's step of whisking mom away, preventing phone calls etc.

Anyway, guy's name is Geoffrey Blair and his email is [email redacted]. His phone number is [number redacted]. He will be away from Dec. 22 to Jan 6.

Will be back at ya. Tired.

Saoirse's brothers chose not to contact Geoffrey Blair.

Wednesday, December 16: Geoffrey Blair calls Saoirse. She finally has reason to think her mom will get help. Her relief is palpable; in a text to her husband, she describes the call: “The hse guy Geoffrey called me he talked 2 pub nurse seems Lloyd Montgomery is the family spokesperson 4 mom's med stuff when Ethan's not around! This guy is really cool no fool nurse has seen a lot he's checking into mom's senior centre. We talk open honestly holding nothing back. Especially here, he's not fr ireland”
Saoirse asks Sean, Alex, and Nathaniel to contact Geoffrey Blair with their concerns and knowledge of Ethan's behaviour so that he would have a more rounded view of the abuse from more sources. Sophie was unresponsive to all attempts at reaching her. Saoirse was especially desirous of Sophie's input. Not only had Sophie witnessed abuse towards her mother and her father, she and at least one of her children were on the receiving end of Ethan's violence. Two examples among many: Pregnant with her first child, Ethan beat up Sophie, repeatedly punching her in the stomach (she went to the hospital for a scan - thankfully the baby was OK), one of her children was dragged down the stairs by the arm, dragged on the floor, etc., suffering severe carpet burns.
[Editor's note: Dolores' sons and daughters chose not to contact Elder Abuse. Saoirse's attempts to get them to act to help their mother continued nonetheless. For months, Saoirse was the lone voice in her family seeking help for Dolores, even after the events of Christmas 2009, which we visit on other pages.]

Thursday, December 17: Geoffrey Blair, after receiving Saoirse's information and speaking with her on the phone, travels to Rosslare to check on Dolores' welfare.
Saoirse provides Geoffrey Blair with further evidence of Ethan's abuse. She gives him the names and addresses of some of Ethan's associates, along with evidence of some of Ethan's forgeries she has uncovered since her visit December 3 with her mom.

Sunday, December 20: Saoirse contacts Sophie via email, updating her on events, giving her contact info for Geoffrey Blair and asking again for some involvement:
“Can you please update Geoffrey Blair about your problems trying to reach mom and any episodes that you, [or your children] recall about any bullying or abusive situations. Geoffrey is already getting a clear picture and acknowledges it's complicated. Our primary focus is trying to keep mom safe. Geoffrey is away from Dec. 22 to Jan. 6. But upon his return I plan to touch base with him about what our next step should be... As of yet, Ethan has not yet contacted my employers with his usual spiel. But any of his shenanigans will only further strengthen my case and resolve. I'm determined to visit with mom and spend time with her.”
This would not be the last time Sophie was asked to make a call or send an email to the HSE Elder Abuse, nor would it be the last time she chose not to.

[Editor's note: Sophie did finally make a statement to the Elder Abuse caseworker, when Dolores lay in the hospital. She withdrew that statement almost immediately. It was one of her children who first found the strength to break the silence weeks before Sophie did, detailing Ethan's abuse, and not only toward their grandparents, Dolores and Cecil, but personally suffered by them at Ethan's hands. Bless these brave ones...]

Alex emails Saoirse with news that he has been able to arrange to see Dolores on Sunday, December 27. It is planned that any other siblings and family members that are willing and able will rendezvous there to see Dolores, and find a way to effect some change. Dolores only knows that Alex and his family will be there. It was feared that if Ethan found out about it, he would prevent Dolores from seeing her children and grandchildren.

Regardless of her brothers and sisters choosing to retreat in silence, of choosing reticence over action, Saoirse's hopes were high that her mom would soon be safe; the family meeting with Dolores she had been wanting was going to happen and the HSE Elder Abuse was actively investigating.


World Elder Abuse Awareness Day UN Declaration of Human Rights European Year for Active Ageing and Intergenerational Solidarity Towards a Society for All Ages